sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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