U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
