It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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