i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dear god my vagina.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
