i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
4 words: hood of his car
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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