apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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