I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
