how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
