I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
