i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
bring money and cleavage
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
