porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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