I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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