Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
