why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
