Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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