I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
