How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
