the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
