Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
