hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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