is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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