I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
