check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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