seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
