I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
