This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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