Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
