Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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