It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
