I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
