it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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