Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
