You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
