Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
