dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
