Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
