Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
