You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
