Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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