I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We are two peas in an std pod
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
