Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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