nut hugger
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
