He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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