I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
