it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
