apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
