Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
