no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
