Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
