I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
